I pray time moves fast, so we can be together again. When I prayed last night, I wanted to ask God for specifics, but at the moment, I don’t even know how we can be in the same place in terms of work. It all seems so impossible. But as the going says “nothing is impossible with God”. He shall make a way for us. Perhaps it’s just a feeling that I’ll get used to again, but the emotion evoked by absence, words cannot describe. Waking up to be reminded that I won’t see you today and more weeks to come was almost crippling.
There’s this hole in my heart that I cannot describe. I sigh in despair, and tears stream down my face.
I slowly get ready for work, thinking this will make time move faster. I bury myself in work so that I can forget. But because no hour passes without the thought of you; the thought which is accompanied by those emotions I cannot explain, come rushing.
They say absence makes the heart grown fonder; I know for sure that I won’t stop loving you, but it isn’t the distance that makes me love you more. Minutes spent with you go so fast, yet when I’m away from you, time drags its feet. I’m writing this letter to you with tears streaming down my face, totally oblivious to what is around me. If anyone had to walk in now, I won’t even be able to explain all this. I know someone else out there feels this, maybe they haven’t even seen their loved ones in a year or more; but there’s no getting used to this. We’ve been at this for a long time now, but having to say ‘goodbye or see you soon’, whatever the words, is still an emotional exercise.
Yesterday, I watched you watch me drive away. I wanted to cry out. Tears welled up only to cause a flood down my face. I prayed, asking God to take me through this once again. Same prayer I’ve been praying for a while now.
Lord knows I love you and with even distance apart, my love for you cannot be shaken. It can only grown from this. I once said I’ll let the whole world know I love you so, they surely do today.
You said to me “things will change for the better sthandwa sami, God will bring us together soon”. How comforting those words were. I know you’ve got my back as much as I do. Until we are together again, do know that I love you more than words can describe. Totally unfathomable yet I hope that my actions are enough to explain this love.
My love, this is my letter to you. Although not enough to explain the exact emotions I feel because words are just that; words… I hope you at least understand the degree of my affection. How in love I am with you!